1 00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:07,250 Good... Morning... Everybody. 2 00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,752 - man: hi. - morning. 3 00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:14,424 They're in your office. 4 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,327 Happy birthday, barney. 5 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,929 Hey, big mouth, did You get an invitation? 6 00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,631 What's the matter with you? 7 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:24,368 - surprise. - surprise. 8 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,902 Happy birthday. 9 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,204 Thank you. 10 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,472 Who asked you to butt In? You're a criminal. 11 00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:30,673 You know him personally? 12 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,942 Do you work here? Did you get him a gift? 13 00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,278 All right, levitt. 14 00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:36,946 Who is he? 15 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,282 Lewis beilin... Breaking and entering. 16 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,484 And party pooping. 17 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,286 Wojo: hey, guys. 18 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,888 Wha... What, did I miss the party? 19 00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:49,025 No, we're just peaking. 20 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,127 I'm sorry, barn. 21 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,462 I was checking This guy for priors. 22 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,597 Fine. 23 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:56,133 - uh, happy birthday. - thank you. 24 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,467 We got you a present. 25 00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,603 I forgot to pick it up. 26 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:03,506 I appreciate the Gesture. Thank you. 27 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,075 Well, that was fun. 28 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,019 Yeah, let's do it Again next year. 29 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:12,748 Well? 30 00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:16,152 - I'll get it This afternoon. - I meant him. 31 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:19,222 Oh, he broke into a Warehouse over on canal. 32 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,157 Hey, come on. I knocked. 33 00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,625 When we picked him up, 34 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,595 He had loaded a couple Of dozen crates in his van. 35 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:26,596 Crates of what? 36 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,498 A few breasts, mostly thighs. 37 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:29,699 What? 38 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:30,966 Frozen chicken, barn. 39 00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:33,669 Planning on having a Barbecue, mr. Beilin? 40 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:37,340 I was just exercising My rights as an american. 41 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:38,908 By breaking and entering? 42 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,077 I mean, it's a Government warehouse 43 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,014 Piled up to the rafters With government food, 44 00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:45,916 And I'm a citizen. 45 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:48,484 That's an interesting concept. 46 00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:49,920 It's very new. 47 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,254 Sit down. 48 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,189 Look, the stuff is Just sitting there, 49 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:55,525 And it's gonna keep on Sitting there till it rots. 50 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:58,161 And then they're gonna toss It into some garbage dump 51 00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,562 And leave it for the rats. 52 00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:02,065 And you were trying to steal it. 53 00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,201 Oh, sure. Avoid the issue. 54 00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,301 Sit down. 55 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:06,969 Barney, that was dispatch. 56 00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:09,105 There's a disturbance In a newspaper office. 57 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,074 You and harris. 58 00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:14,710 Uh, you still gonna pick Up barney's bagpipes? 59 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,879 Barney: bye, dietrich. 60 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,304 Wait till he sees the kilts. 61 00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:24,154 - sir. - hmm. 62 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:27,290 Any many happy returns. 63 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:30,048 Thank you. 64 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:46,664 I'll remember this. 65 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,190 - he's right. - huh? 66 00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:10,126 He was right, beilin. 67 00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,828 I called down at the warehouse. 68 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:15,531 The guy told me the government Leased the place six months ago. 69 00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:17,333 Stuffed it full of Surplus chicken. 70 00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:20,836 It was just sitting there. 71 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,872 It's ridiculous, isn't it? 72 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,874 With people going Hungry out there. 73 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,811 Yeah, it does seem A little strange. 74 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:30,980 Seems like we ought To do something. 75 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,782 What did you have in mind, wojo? 76 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:33,883 I don't know. 77 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,486 Just something. 78 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:40,189 You think perhaps this is The president's responsibility? 79 00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:45,061 Suppose nobody Tells him about it. 80 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:50,433 Come on, you guys. He couldn't find Somebody who likes his name in the paper? 81 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,670 It was responsible information From a highly reliable source. 82 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,204 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 83 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,974 Take it easy. What Have we got here? 84 00:04:57,998 --> 00:05:00,477 Assault and battery... This is wendell bergendahl. 85 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,479 That's andrew Jessel, cub reporter. 86 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,846 When we got to the city room, 87 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,248 We found these two Grappling around on the floor. 88 00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:08,385 After he loosened A few of my teeth. 89 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:12,088 Not bad for a Cadaver, eh, dirt head? 90 00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,957 What's happening to our society? 91 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:18,194 I mean, this blind hostility And it's fueled by stress 92 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,395 And discontent. 93 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,430 And it breeds violence. 94 00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:22,499 Apparently. 95 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,401 The fight started When mr. Jessel 96 00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,569 Refused to cooperate With mr. Bergendahl. 97 00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,438 I just wanted a Simple retraction. 98 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,106 He told me to take out an ad. 99 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,874 It doesn't need a retraction. 100 00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,209 Retraction of what? 101 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:36,579 His obituary. 102 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:40,049 I rest my case. 103 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,385 Ironic, huh? 104 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:45,688 I'm in my kitchen this Morning eating a bowl of life, 105 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:48,179 Turned the page, I Read that I'm dead! 106 00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:52,495 Apparently there are a couple 107 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,364 Of wendell bergendahls Running around. 108 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:56,766 Well, can I help that? 109 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,901 I mean, I'm just sitting there, 110 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,670 I'm juggling funeral homes, 111 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,039 And I'm trying to Beat the deadline. 112 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,641 And suddenly this guy comes in 113 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,476 And he punches me in the face. 114 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,744 By 8:30 this morning, 115 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:10,312 Four realtors want To show my apartment. 116 00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:13,216 And when my mother Reads it, she almost did die. 117 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,486 I mean, I just want people To know that I'm still around. 118 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,954 Well, I'm convinced. 119 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,590 All right. We're gonna need Some statements. Gentlemen? 120 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:23,425 You want the stiff? 121 00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:24,828 Surprise me. 122 00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,696 You know that never works. 123 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,799 Mr. Bergendahl, you want to Have a seat right over there? 124 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,668 Mr. Jessel, just have a seat... 125 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:34,904 So anyway, one day at The campus bookstore, 126 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,506 I just happened To pick up a copy 127 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,274 Of "All the president's men." 128 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:42,512 Oh, once I started, I Just couldn't stop. 129 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,781 The cunning investigative work, 130 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,583 And the hopping planes 131 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:49,618 On a moment's notice To pursue a lead, 132 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:52,755 And the clandestine Meetings in garages, 133 00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:55,792 And living on coffee And cigarettes... 134 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,860 Well, I decided then 135 00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,396 It was the only thing I Wanted to do with my life. 136 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,565 So I work my tail off, I Graduate with honors, 137 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:07,369 And the next thing I know, I'm stuck in some dingy corner 138 00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:09,839 Sharing a phone with The assistant food editor 139 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:13,609 And copying biographies Of boring dead people 140 00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:17,146 While the real reporters Just walk by and snicker. 141 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:22,418 You know, I keep asking Myself, "What am I doing wrong?" 142 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,054 - have one? - I don't smoke. 143 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:29,247 Well, see, there you go. 144 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,965 Yes, sir, can I help you? 145 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,399 Herb lund, department Of agriculture. 146 00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:38,801 How you doing? 147 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:41,603 You called about a problem With one of our warehouses. 148 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,405 Uh-huh. Captain? 149 00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:45,942 Yes, can I help you? 150 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,745 Herb lund, department Of agriculture. 151 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:51,881 There's a problem with One of our warehouses. 152 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,452 It's the cheese again, isn't it? 153 00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:01,524 - chicken. - chicken? 154 00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:06,362 Oh, uh, so, uh, who's Sergeant wojowosky? 155 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,331 Wojciehowicz. 156 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,633 It says wojowosky. 157 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:11,967 That's wojciehowicz. 158 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,303 - wojciehowicz. - wojciehowicz. 159 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,172 Yeah? 160 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,574 Sergeant, there's Someone here to see you. 161 00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:19,742 Uh-huh? 162 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,478 Herb lund, department Of agriculture. 163 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,636 There's a problem with One of our warehouses. 164 00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,719 Well, someone From the government 165 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,721 Had to come down And sign a complaint. 166 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:35,558 Really? 167 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:37,815 How about those medflies, huh? 168 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:49,238 We're also a little curious, Mr. Lund, about that chicken 169 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,907 That you've got stored At the warehouse. 170 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,675 Wojo. 171 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,243 Just as long as he's here. 172 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,012 What about the Chicken, sergeant? 173 00:08:57,337 --> 00:09:00,249 Well, it's just that It seems so strange 174 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,019 That you've got All this food there, 175 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:06,022 And there are people Who really need it. 176 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,291 Fine. 177 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,693 What are you gonna do about it? 178 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:14,697 Uh, we have no immediate plans. 179 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,399 Then what did you buy It for in the first place? 180 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,570 Look, I'm sure you're Very concerned. 181 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,839 I just don't have the time 182 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,574 To sit here and explain the Kind system of price supports. 183 00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:26,976 Uh-huh. 184 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:31,180 Even the most basic fundamentals Of supplied side economics 185 00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:35,284 Are very difficult for the Ordinary person to understand. 186 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,654 Try us. 187 00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:45,628 When there is an overabundance Of certain foodstuffs, 188 00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:48,364 It is our responsibility To purchase the excess 189 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,800 So as not to drive the Wholesale price down 190 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:53,803 To the point where the Farming community would suffer. 191 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,306 Okay. 192 00:09:56,330 --> 00:10:02,077 Then under suitable Conditions we distribute it 193 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:06,070 To prisons, school systems, The canal zone, etc. Etc. Etc. 194 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,153 Thank you for your Explanation, mr. Lund. 195 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,454 Wait a minute. 196 00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,490 - oh, please. - wojo. 197 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:15,858 Look, I just think 198 00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:18,995 They ought to get Off the dime here, barn. 199 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:23,532 I mean, all of this doesn't Mean anything if the stuff rots. 200 00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,034 They've had it for six months. 201 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,536 Remember when I left That chicken sandwich 202 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,038 In my locker for three days? 203 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,640 Hey, you want my job? 204 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,976 You want a truckload of Forms to process, six-day weeks, 205 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,946 An office knee-high in Bureaucratic sewage? 206 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,281 This year, half The florida citrus 207 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,083 Has turned into snowballs. 208 00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:43,185 Reagan is about to Dump a third of my staff, 209 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:47,089 And there is talk now Of a new grain embargo. 210 00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:51,515 And yesterday, my 14-year-old shaved his head! 211 00:10:56,422 --> 00:11:01,004 Wojo, uh... Barn. 212 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:04,073 Just process the Complaint, all right? 213 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,010 Yeah, sure. 214 00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,345 Uh, have a seat, Please, mr. Lund. 215 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,568 Thank you. 216 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,885 May I help you? 217 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,221 I'm mrs. Wendell bergendahl. 218 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,089 I'm looking for my husband. 219 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,446 He's in there. 220 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:33,002 Uh, he's not mine. 221 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,138 He's the only one we got. 222 00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:38,641 Just a coincidence, I suppose. 223 00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:41,477 Excuse me. Barney. 224 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,912 Hmm? 225 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,481 Got a live one. 226 00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,184 Can I help you? I'm captain miller. 227 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:51,753 I'm ruth bergendahl. My Husband's name is wendell. 228 00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:54,056 Ah, in the cage. 229 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:57,193 No, no... In the paper. 230 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,962 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 231 00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:02,932 Well, I'm really Not sure it's him. 232 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,868 We were separated Three years ago. 233 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:10,295 He ran off with the neighbor's Foreign-exchange student. 234 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,609 I see. 235 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,212 I got over it. 236 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,015 Well, good. 237 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,617 I was granted a divorce. 238 00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:26,089 I got alimony and His life insurance. 239 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:30,192 So far, I haven't been Able to collect on either. 240 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:34,997 Well, that's... Life. 241 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:38,467 Yeah. 242 00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,969 I called the paper. 243 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,538 They told me he was Brought over here. 244 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:47,944 Well... Well, if that's not him, 245 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,179 Maybe I'll get lucky On the other one. 246 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:53,549 Yeah, keep a good thought. 247 00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:57,353 Um, I really don't Know what to do now. 248 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,155 Who do I talk to? 249 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,889 Why don't you get on the phone, 250 00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:03,359 See if you can get some more Information from downtown? 251 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,427 Sergeant dietrich Will be glad to help you. 252 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,664 Thank you. Thank you very much. 253 00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:12,969 Oh, is there someplace I Could go to freshen up? 254 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,171 Uh, no, but we have a bathroom. 255 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,862 Thank you. 256 00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:24,580 Pardon me, are you really Mrs. Wendell bergendahl? 257 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,848 Yes. 258 00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:29,485 I never thought there'd ever be 259 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,788 A mrs. Wendell bergendahl. 260 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,323 Oh, you're not married? 261 00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:37,960 No. I guess I was busy. 262 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:41,998 I hope anyway that You really find him. 263 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,866 Thank you. 264 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,457 You know, I... 265 00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,340 Nice to meet you. 266 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,209 You too. 267 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:56,145 Hey, you know, just Out of curiosity, 268 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,548 Did he look anything like me? 269 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:03,886 No, not exactly. 270 00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:09,680 Well, I guess he had to Be different somewhere. 271 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:14,463 Once he told me 272 00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:19,168 That he had slept with all The women in our building. 273 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,537 Oh. 274 00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:24,540 It's a high-rise. 275 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,443 Why would he do that? 276 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,712 I mean, you seem so nice. 277 00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:36,340 Hold that thought. 278 00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:40,823 You know, sergeant, I can't help thinking 279 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,525 That under different Circumstances, 280 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,193 We could have been friends. 281 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:47,697 Oh, yeah? 282 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,832 Not that I don't Have any friends. 283 00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:52,134 I'm sure they call. 284 00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:57,439 I'm just out in the Field all the time. 285 00:14:57,463 --> 00:15:00,742 Look, I understand that There's certain validity 286 00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:02,344 To what you're saying, But you don't understand. 287 00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:03,679 There's nothing I can do about it. 288 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,447 Is that really true? 289 00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,516 Who are you? 290 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,351 He's a newspaper reporter. 291 00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:11,553 I mean, if you Really feel that way, 292 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,922 Why don't you just Open up the warehouse 293 00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,724 And start passing it out? 294 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,859 Heh! What, to anybody? 295 00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:20,396 They don't have any forms. 296 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,931 So give them some. 297 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:24,599 You don't know what You're talking about. 298 00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:27,370 Do you realize how much Time that would take? 299 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:30,005 Well, for all the time you've Been sitting here talking, 300 00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:32,775 A few dozen hungry kids Could have had something to eat, 301 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,010 Or don't you think About things like that? 302 00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,146 Yes, I think about Things like that. 303 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,481 What, you don't Think I have feelings? 304 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:41,283 You don't think I Get frustrated? 305 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:42,918 You don't think there's days 306 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,988 I'd like to pitch the book of Regulations out the window? 307 00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:47,322 Then why don't you? 308 00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:51,560 Because that would be... Heroic. 309 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:55,564 I'd like to be a hero. It'd be nice to be a hero. 310 00:15:55,588 --> 00:16:00,836 Herb lund... Hero. 311 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,728 I'm not a hero, all right? 312 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:14,650 Anyway, after he Left, I was a total mess. 313 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,986 If it weren't for the children, 314 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,588 I probably would Have fallen apart. 315 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:22,691 It must be nice To have children. 316 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:26,862 Oh... Yes. 317 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:31,600 I played with some once. 318 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:34,603 So, what sort of work do you do? 319 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,805 Oh, me? 320 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,907 Little of this, little of that. 321 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:42,510 I manufacture sleepwear. 322 00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:46,314 Really? For how long? 323 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:50,686 Oh, let me see... Roughly my whole life. 324 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,743 Must be very exciting. 325 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,125 Keeps me awake. 326 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,664 You like that? 327 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,365 Of course. 328 00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:06,034 I toss that out at Parties all the time. 329 00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:08,771 I tell that to Everybody, then I leave. 330 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:11,874 You do? 331 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:13,709 Yeah. 332 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:17,145 I guess I can never think of Anything more to talk about. 333 00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:21,171 I have over 30 negligees. 334 00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:35,263 Hi. 335 00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:36,765 Andy, look, I... 336 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,100 This will just take a minute. 337 00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:39,735 I got to talk to my editor. 338 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:40,936 Hello, lou. 339 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,405 Oh, come on. 340 00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,763 I get a lot of that. 341 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,612 We're all set here now, barn. 342 00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,014 Great. 343 00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:54,516 We appreciate your Cooperation, mr. Lund. 344 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:55,851 Captain, I'm only sorry 345 00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:58,153 I wasn't better able To accommodate you. 346 00:17:58,177 --> 00:18:00,555 Yeah, I'm sure you are. 347 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:01,557 Right. 348 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,726 May I sign something now? 349 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,929 Yes. 350 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,565 Excuse me, that's the Canal warehouse, right? 351 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,067 Why, who wants to know? 352 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,635 - my editor. - oh, my god. 353 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,438 Hello, rewrite. Listen, I Got some feed for you here. 354 00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:18,040 Hey, what the hell do You think you're doing? 355 00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:19,508 All right, this is it. 356 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,911 "Uncle sam hoards drumsticks While cutting welfare to bone." 357 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,713 - it writes itself. - you can't do this. 358 00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,649 They'll be swarming All over the place. 359 00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:29,151 "You thought you could only Find chicken in supermarkets, 360 00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:31,386 But this reporter has Some chilling facts." 361 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,456 Will you listen to Me? I'll lose my job. 362 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,825 I've got a wife! I've got An unbalanced child! 363 00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:37,059 Hey, it's big. 364 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,161 And I'll have it ready For the morning edition. 365 00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:41,997 He's crazy. You got to Stop him. I'll press charges. 366 00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:44,399 Hey, first amendment... Freedom of the press. 367 00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:45,768 It's the government. 368 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,670 And that's only the Tip of the iceberg. 369 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,839 You said you guys got Some butter, too, right? 370 00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:51,607 Nothing... You'll get Nothing out of me. 371 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,376 Please, look, just Trust me, will you? 372 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,378 Trust me. You're john doe. 373 00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:57,646 That's not the point. 374 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,849 The point is I have A responsibility 375 00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:01,784 To the system, to the people. 376 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,586 We have guidelines to adhere to. 377 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:06,021 We have loyalties. 378 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,623 We have precepts. 379 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,092 We have rules! 380 00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:13,829 And we have peanut Butter in new jersey. 381 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,498 Wait! They got peanut butter. 382 00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,901 - what am I doing? - you're doing great. Go for it. 383 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,369 Canned beets in rhode island... 384 00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:22,671 Canned beats. 385 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:25,440 Raisins in ohio... Raisins. 386 00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,943 Dry milk... We got Dry milk in 20 states... 387 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,411 Ha! They got dry milk. 388 00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,881 And enough avocados to Fill the rose bowl twice. 389 00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:33,448 Avocados! 390 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,684 - water. - over here. 391 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:36,952 No, I'm telling you, 392 00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,555 This comes from an Unimpeachable source. 393 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,090 Right. Move it, right. 394 00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:43,692 Oh, look, and don't Forget the byline... 395 00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:46,494 Andrew p. Jessel. 396 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:49,164 I got to go. I got Butter in staten island. 397 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,867 Well, listen, 398 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:54,336 Take care of yourself, Mr. Lund, all right? 399 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,071 Yeah. 400 00:19:56,095 --> 00:20:00,008 I think I'll take the ferry... 401 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,612 Walk up to the bow And just stand there 402 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:08,751 Straight, proud, Looking straight ahead, 403 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:13,822 Just let the wind Blow in my face. 404 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:18,426 Then I'm gonna get really sick. 405 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:19,962 It's funny. 406 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:23,699 I was sort of expecting To see my husband again. 407 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,434 I guess I disappointed you, huh? 408 00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:29,572 Oh, no, I enjoyed... Excuse me. 409 00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:32,174 The wendell Bergendahl in the paper 410 00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,343 Was claimed by his Sister this morning. 411 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,278 Mine didn't have a sister. 412 00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:39,481 Oh. Well, I guess That kills that. 413 00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,116 I guess it does. 414 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,552 I also checked downtown. 415 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,721 They got files on a Wendell r. Bergendahl 416 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,290 In albuquerque, one in Seattle, two in detroit, 417 00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:49,858 And one in helena, montana. 418 00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,527 You're kidding. 419 00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:56,398 Were any of them keeping Company with a korean? 420 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,600 I didn't ask. 421 00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:01,704 Oh, of course. 422 00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:05,473 Well, I guess you'll Keep looking for him, huh? 423 00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:07,442 I suppose. 424 00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:11,647 I don't even know Where montana is. 425 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:17,341 I think you go to Colorado... And ask. 426 00:21:19,545 --> 00:21:23,091 Thought I'd try Another one out on you. 427 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:27,830 Oh, bye, mr. Bergendahl. 428 00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:31,466 Bye, mrs. Bergendahl. 429 00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:34,669 Has kind of a ring to it. 430 00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:38,073 Oh, yeah. 431 00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,909 Maybe I can call You on the phone. 432 00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:44,813 I could, you know, See you sometime. 433 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:46,514 How? 434 00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:49,584 Well, I'm not gonna Be in here forever. 435 00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:51,920 How long do you figure? 436 00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:55,457 Maybe this afternoon. 437 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,693 What did you do? 438 00:21:57,717 --> 00:22:00,595 I hit somebody. 439 00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:01,864 A woman? 440 00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:03,799 No. 441 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:09,126 555-4349. 442 00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:31,260 555-4349. 443 00:22:31,284 --> 00:22:34,162 You dog, you. 444 00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:35,998 Junk mail call. 445 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,033 - ron. - thank you. 446 00:22:38,057 --> 00:22:39,101 Art. 447 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:41,792 Thank you, carl. 448 00:22:43,462 --> 00:22:45,473 Of course, the birthday boy. 449 00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:47,743 Thank you. 450 00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:50,212 So it's all downhill From here, huh, sir? 451 00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:52,714 Not that it's a short Slope or anything. 452 00:22:52,738 --> 00:22:54,371 I get the message. 453 00:22:59,245 --> 00:23:03,225 I guess I owe you guys an Apology for this morning. 454 00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:07,696 You may have noticed my lack Of enthusiasm for this date. 455 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,533 No kidding, sir. 456 00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:14,436 When I think about It, it's probably true. 457 00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:16,138 I don't want to be reminded 458 00:23:16,162 --> 00:23:19,107 That it's all going By so fast, you know? 459 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:20,708 I understand that, sir. 460 00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:23,846 We just thought that by Throwing a little party, 461 00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:25,881 We might be able to get Your mind off of things. 462 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:29,417 That makes absolutely No sense, you know. 463 00:23:29,441 --> 00:23:31,453 I know, sir. 464 00:23:31,477 --> 00:23:35,157 But I'm grateful for The gesture, in any case. 465 00:23:35,181 --> 00:23:37,425 However, I would appreciate it 466 00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:39,995 If we just forgot About the calendar 467 00:23:40,019 --> 00:23:42,697 And got back to Some business, huh? 468 00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:44,354 Sure. 469 00:23:46,858 --> 00:23:49,571 Your present, sir. 470 00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:51,328 I didn't say from who. 471 00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:59,081 Hey, that's really nice. 472 00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,848 There's more, sir. 473 00:24:00,872 --> 00:24:03,986 Oh. 474 00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:06,121 All right, any hints? 475 00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:07,990 Well, it's not your kilts. 476 00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:13,228 "From the desk Of barney melnick." 477 00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:15,764 Levitt. 478 00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:17,265 That's not what I told him. 479 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,667 Didn't you look at it When you picked them up? 480 00:24:19,691 --> 00:24:21,036 They were already wrapped! 481 00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:23,104 It's okay, it's okay. I Can take them back. 482 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,195 I don't know. I like them.